Book Review: Idol, Burning by Rin Usami

 

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Thank you to NetGalley and HarperVia for allowing me to read this ARC!

Content Warning: physical abuse, domestic violence, ableism, parental abuse (emotional and verbal).

Akari thinks of nothing but her oshi, Masaki Ueno, an actor and member of the J-Pop band "Maza Maza." Her life revolves around him: when he eats, she eats; when he says goodnight on his livestream, she goes to sleep; the beat and rhythm of his songs determine her walking pace. Outside of her obsession, Akari struggles to make sense of her world -- and then there's a scandal. It turns out that Masaki has assaulted a female fan (rumored to actually be his girlfriend or fiancée), and as Akari tries to fight against the tide of hatred for him, she must also determine whether or not life goes on without her idol. 

Fandom spaces are intimately familiar to me; I've been an active member of various ones since I was around eleven years old. Although I'd never describe myself as having been a superfan of anything (at least, not to the extent that Akari is), it's easy for me to understand where she comes from, especially when the internet is now dominated by fans of boybands like BTS. There's a unique sense of both isolation and belonging that comes with speaking to fellow fans online, with the feeling of having a community that understands you in a way that those in your real life do not.

Our protagonist, Akari, is a sort of springboard for these sorts of questions and ideas. While she idolizes Masaki, she also isn't the sort of fan who wants to be close with him, at least not physically -- she prefers the safety of having a screen between them, or a screaming crowd. Still, she does her best to understand him, obsessed with the idea that she alone is able to "get him" on a level that everyone else simply doesn't. It's something relevant in her own life: in spite of the fact that she's been diagnosed with an undisclosed learning disability (or that's what I assumed it to be: although ADHD is not considered one, I personally saw myself in Akari's struggles with what other people see as "easy" or "simple" tasks), her family makes little to no effort to understand her -- and even verbally and emotionally abuses her as she struggles.

And that's really the entire point of fandom and stan culture, isn't it? An escape, a way outside of yourself. Usami's writing is clever, though I found myself often thinking that some of the sentences were strange, perhaps because it's just so hard to translate the essence of something into another language. This book is very short (not even 200 pages), and some of it felt rushed. I would've actually liked to spend more time with Akari, though reading this book was a bit painful for me, as it so intensely exposed elements of myself that I fight with (being perceived as lazy, difficult, struggling with little things, and how it sometimes feels as if there's a whole world separating you from people who are "normal," or at least neurotypical).

At the end of the day, her oshi is really not a man, not even really a human: he is a figure to project her desires and hopes onto. There's even a line I found very telling, that truly sums up why I think so many fans seem strangely upset when their idols marry or date or get caught smoking or drinking: "He was no longer an idol; he was a man."

Sometimes this book can be a bit heavy-handed, one of the reasons I chose three stars for its rating. There's an occasional lack of subtlety which I think this book needs. That being said, I recommend this and I think it will start many interesting conversations about the ways we invade celebrity lives.