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Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for allowing me to read this ARC!
Content Warning: death, murder, violence/gore, homophobia, biphobia, forced outing (mentioned), racism, body horror, anxiety/panic attacks (mentioned).
Ulalume Academy is highly competitive, home to only the country's best of the best. Finch Chamberlin is the newest transfer student, musically-talented and hoping that perhaps she'll be able to start fresh at a new school. Months before school starts, however, Finch gets into a horrible accident -- one that takes the lives of both her parents. Afterwards, Finch isn't the same... and it isn't just PTSD and grief that's the problem. Something brought Finch back from death, deep beneath the mysterious waters of the Peninsula that Ulalume rests on. Something ancient, and hungry. While she's struggling to figure out what exactly happened, she meets Selena St. Clair, a privileged mean girl who has it out for Finch after an unfortunate incident. But when Selena and her friend group get involved with the being Finch awakened, it inadvertently brings Selena and Finch together -- and the rest of them onto a collision course they're desperately trying to escape.
This beautiful debut, in spite of its rather dark subject matter and sometimes gory content, felt like getting a warm hug. It reminded me of all things I loved growing up, and in many ways, this book is like a dream for a sixteen-year-old version of myself. There's everything you could want: a sapphic romance, an elite boarding school, eldritch monsters, and a storyline that kept me eagerly reading. It's pitched as being a mixture of the Wilder Girls meets The Craft, but I'm not sure either of those comparisons really fit the tone of My Dearest Darkest. Tonally, it's a combination of humor and darkness, and to me, has a hint of lightness in it that keeps you filled with hope throughout the entirety of the novel.
Cottingham's writing style really brought it all together for me. Although it's simplistic, there are some truly beautiful similes peppered throughout, and I was so relieved to see that it was in third-person, past-tense. I'll admit that the young adult genre hasn't been my favorite these last few years, particularly because of the navel-gazing, painfully dry style that's taken over, and so for me, this was like a breath of fresh air. We also get both Finch's POV and Selena's as well, and I found that this helped me to stay engaged with the story (seeing as they are often going through similar, but different circumstances) and to really find myself connecting with both of them.
Speaking of, I loved both Finch and Selena, and I also loved the way that their relationship played out. It never felt rushed, which I was concerned about -- they start out as enemies, and although I would say they end up becoming friends rather quickly, the rest of their romantic attraction develops in a way that feels totally and completely natural. There was something truly genuine about their interactions, and I particularly liked their discussions that centered around sexuality, emotions and love. This is a book that proudly allows its protagonist to say she is a lesbian, which is often treated as a dirty word, specifically in YA books. Selena, too, is pretty much entirely open about her bisexuality, and I can't emphasize enough how much I enjoyed the representation here!
The side characters did feel a bit more one-dimensional, but I think that probably has something to do with the focus and centering on Finch and Selena. I do wish that they had gotten a bit more character development, but I liked them all -- especially Risa, a Japanese transfer student who is a member of Selena's pretty, talented, bad bitch clique. She was rife with potential, and I would love to see a book dedicated entirely to her! My other favorites were Kyra (who I loved to hate) and Simon, who reminded me a bit of myself with his ADHD hyperfixation on cryptids. All in all, in spite of the fact that I felt they lacked a bit of history beyond their stories on the page, they helped to make the story feel more well-rounded and whole. The inclusivity in the story was wonderful, casual and excellently rendered.
As for the plot, it was engaging, quick, and in my opinion, nicely paced with the rest of the story. The horror aspects were chilling and fascinating, the atmosphere enough to send a shiver down my spine. All in all, it's both simplest and truest to just say that this novel captivated me from the very first page, and it quickly made its way onto my favorites list.
Very, very highly recommended, and I cannot wait to see what Cottingham will come up with next!
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